Squad helps dog bite victim

Man eating piranha mistakenly sold as pet fish

Juvenile court to Try shooting Victim

Women are requested not to have children in the bar

Dwarf seer escapes from jail - small medium at large

Lost small terrier de-sexed at Hungry Jack's

Stud tires out

Drunk gets nine months in violin case

Iraqi head seeks arms

Queen Mary having bottom scraped

Note: Queen Mary is the name of an ocean liner

Yoko Ono will talk about her husband John Lenon who was killed in an interview with Barbara Walters

Two cars were reported stolen by the Groverton police yesterday

We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container

For Sale: mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating

New housing for elderly not yet dead

Note: These samples were taken from "The Language Instinct", a book by Stephen Pinker (1995) Australia Print Group: Maryborough